Wonders of His Love

This has been the hardest secret to keep, but the scariest one to tell too soon. We waited and tried and prayed for so long to finally get here, and now we are ready to share our news with you all.

That's right! Our little miracle will be joining us in July of 2017. We couldn't have asked for a better Christmas gift. I want to send a huge Thank You to everyone who prayed for us and supported us through all of the obstacles we faced getting here. And my heart goes out to those still on their journey to parenthood. You'll be in my prayers, always. 

Here's the story of the day we found out.

Even though I was experiencing some of the classic pregnancy symptoms, I was still very hesitant to take a test. I've been down this road so many times before to only get negative tests. But that day (11-11-16), I spontaneously decided to test. I had pushed the stick far away from me and slightly hidden behind the shower curtain for the duration of the wait time. I peaked only once and saw only one line from far away, and I steeled myself for the negative result. After 3 mins I tentatively slid the test closer. One dark line, and wait! Another lighter line!! Is this real?!?!

So I pulled out the ClearBlue Digital test and dipped it in the cup. I watched the blinking symbol for what seemed like hours until the result popped up. PREGNANT! A few mins later the weeks estimator indicated 2-3 weeks from conception. I couldn't believe it and burst into tears just thanking God for this miracle. 

It was only 11 am and I knew Philip would be home for lunch soon, so I texted him to make sure, when he informed me he'd be done for the day at 11:45. I had a more put together way of telling him planned in my head, but I didn't have the time to get it arranged in time, plus I had my nephew that day. So I pulled out all the little things we had purchased for this miracle child over the past year or so, and laid them out on the kitchen table with the tests and very impatiently waited. 

Grayson woke from a nap to eat just before Philip walked in. He walked into the kitchen as we made small talk and didn't even glance at the table. So I sent him back and told him to look around again. Then he saw it, said awww and then looked closer. "Are these yours?" I nodded. "Really?" I said really and started crying. He walked over to me and I saw his eyes getting misty. He kissed me and just couldn't stop smiling.

Merry Christmas!

Surprise Gift for Hubs

Disclaimer: This post is sponsored by JORD Wood Watches. I was compensated with a free watch for this unbiased presentation and review of the watch. All opinions are 100% my own.

I'm amazing at putting together cool and creative gifts for people as a surprise, but I am terrible at keeping them a surprise. I just get so darn excited about them that I can't keep the secret. This time, though, I did it! I planned a surprise for Hubs and I KEPT it a surprise. Go me!

Earlier in the spring we purchased a new grill. Well, I made Hubs splurge on himself by purchasing our snazzy new grill. He's not one to buy himself nice things. We went on a grilling spree! Burgers, hot dogs, chicken, and steak. YUM. Then the weather got weird and it rained a lot, nipping our grilling spree in the bud. But it's summer now, and while it's crazy hot outside, it's the best time of year for grilling. (how many times can a person type grill/grilling in one post? Let's keep count! There are 5 so far.)

Why did I want to give this surprise gift to Hubs? Well, he's be amazing during this stressful baby journey on top of our bathroom renovation. My emotions and hormones have been living up to the roller coaster cliche and I can be a bit demanding when it comes to how I want our bathroom done. We may have had a couple of little tiffs, but considering everything that's been going on for us, it could have been a lot worse. We've recently hit the one year mark on our baby journey, and thought I'd do something special for him to thank him for how great he's been in putting up with me.

So when JORD reached out to me to see if we could work together, I jumped at the opportunity. You see, Hubs has started a small collection of different and unique styles of watches for men (he loves watches), and this Delmar Red Sandalwood and White Carbon watch made a lovely addition to it. When I received the watch, (after oohing and ahing) I started planning. I went out and got the ingredients for a little cook out and pulled out his shiny new grilling tools I got him for our Anniversary in April. I made sure his favorite shirt was clean and double checked that we had a bottle of his favorite whiskey on hand.

When Hubs came home I sent him straight to the bathroom to shower and laid out his clothes. He was puzzled as why I wanted him to put on "real" clothes and not "hang around the house" clothes, but I told him to just do what I say and he'll understand. Luckily he does mind me pretty well (...most of the time). Once he was dressed, I presented him with the watch. He loves it! Then I told him what I got for us for dinner and to go fire up the grill.

He's not big on having his photo taken, but he was good and played model for me. I think he did fantastic! He wears this beautiful watch like a pro. What do you think?

We had a wonderful evening. He was excited about showing off his new watch to his parents over the weekend when he got to grill again for our 4th of July cook out. And he's looking forward to wearing it again for our next holiday gathering. I think I did well with this surprise gift.

You can give someone the gift of a JORD watch or just get one of these beauties for yourself! Just click HERE and enter your info to win a $75 e-voucher from JORD. Giveaway ends July 24th. You'll get a small prize even if you don't win, so what's to lose?

When was the last time you gave a surprise gift to someone? Are you good at keeping surprises a surprise? Did you keep count of the number of times I said grill/grilling?

Unique Watch

My Battle with Infertility Part 2

Today I am picking up where we left off last Friday with our infertility journey. You can read part 1 HERE. 

We took December off with the cycle tracking, and when we got back from our Vacation, we tried to focus on getting healthier with a plan that worked better for us. I did loads of research on fertility supplements, even ordered some as a last ditch effort before going back to the doctor that I wasn't sure even wanted to help us. Then this past March I finally decided to seek a second opinion, and found a new doctor. We couldn't get in to see him until mid April, but when we finally did I knew I had made the right decision. While our new doctor agreed with me that I most likely do have PCOS, he didn't just brush me off and tell me to lose weight. He explained things to us, he gave us suggestions, he wanted to run more tests, and we started making a plan.

The interesting thing is that I (and here's a TMI warning) had some actual real spotting for the first time in 5 months during the first week of April. I was excited! Maybe the supplements I am taking have finally started to work! Hubs and I went to CVS and purchased the ridiculously expensive digital ovulation predictor kit (OPK) and I started the testing process as soon as this "period" ended. The second week of April we had our aforementioned appointment with the new doctor. On Monday, March 18, I got my first ever indication that I could possibly ovulate this cycle: a flashy smiley face on a pee stick (the flashy smiley face indicates the "high fertility" point in your cycle).

At my ultrasound appointment that Wednesday, it was confirmed for reals the diagnosis of PCOS by the presence of multiple, but tiny, cysts on my ovaries. But, when I told my awesome new doctor about the three consecutive days of the flashy smiley face, he said that I had reason to hope. He still gave me a prescription for progesterone to (hopefully) induce a healthy period if things don't pan out for us this cycle. We were leaving for North Carolina that evening, and I prayed while I was packing that day that we would get the solid smiley face indicating "peak fertility" and imminent ovulation.

We drove all night after I got out of class that Wednesday and at 4 am at a Shell Station somewhere in Tennessee I peed on a stick in a public bathroom. I tried not to look conspicuous when I walked back through the store to the car with the OPK in my hand waiting for the results to appear. In the privacy of our car we waited. Three minutes later my prayers were answered. A solid smiley face. You can only imagine the squeals of joy and happiness that happened right there in the gas station parking lot.

Although we didn't catch the egg this cycle, we are moving in the right direction. I've started the progesterone pills and we're praying for another ovulatory cycle before our next appointment the first week of June. Please keep us in your prayers as we navigate the coming weeks and I've appreciated all of the support and kind words.

If there is someone reading this that is suffering through their own battle with infertility, please just know that you are not alone, and you are not any less of a woman because you're body isn't playing nice. That's been my biggest struggle, feeling less than, but it's not true. In fact, I think it makes us stronger. You'll always be in my prayers, whether I know you or not.

My Battle with Infertility Part 1

Confused by the title? I thought you might be since I sorta announced two years ago, only four months into my marriage that I was definitely not in any hurry to have a baby and that it may or may not even happen for us (I was leaning more towards a baby free life).This post is kinda long and chock full of information from the past 12ish months. I debated the entire time whether or not I was going to talk about any of this on the blog, but when Becca shared her story it helped me feel better, like I am not alone in this struggle as a woman. And I thought that maybe if I shared my story it will help someone, like her's helped me.

In March of 2015, I got some news from my regular family doctor that began to solidify my suspicions that I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). I have several confirmed symptoms (irregular to no periods, extra hair growth in places I'm not supposed to have it, hair loss on my head, trouble losing weight, skin tags), the only thing I hadn't done was get an ultrasound to see if I had cysts on my ovaries. I was a wreck, but it was then, when I potentially had the decision to have a child taken away from me by my body, that I started to reassess my position. A few short weeks later we visited my family for Easter and I got to meet my baby nephew for the first time. It was all over from there.

Not long after we got home from that trip I brought the topic of having a child up to Hubs again. I'm not going lie, he totally thought it was all because I got to snuggle a cute baby at Easter. And that was an interesting conversation. Anyway, we talked and I thought and we talked some more for about two months, and finally decided that we were going to do it. We were going to try for a baby. So, in July of 2105 I had my IUD (intrauterine device) removed (surgically, by the way cause it had turned itself sideways) and after the required two weeks of recovery we began our journey.

That first negative pregnancy test was hard for me. I mean haaarrdddd. I even wrote about it, here. It didn't really get any better from there and I struggled with whether or not I was going to share our decision and this journey here in this space. I started tracking all the things: my basal body temperature, my cervical fluid, and used ovulation prediction kits (OPK). After several months with absolutely zero results on anything, it appeared to me that there was a problem: I wasn't ovulating.

In November we went back to my OBGYN to get some advice. She also agreed with me (and my GP) that PCOS seems the likely culprit holding up the process. That's when she put me on the Paleo Diet. However, she didn't offer us any other options other than for me to lose weight or talk about what the next steps were, and her beside manner was just not very warm. I was disappointed, but I tried anyways.

Paleo didn't work for us, which was no surprise to me. But we had the Thanksgiving, Christmas, and our cruise in December to look forward to, and I thought "maybe that whole 'relax and it will happen' thing might work for us." It didn't, and I fell into a deep depression. Things have gotten better though, and I will tell you all about that in Part 2 next Monday.

Part 2

I Like to Eat When I Travel + A Giveaway!

Hubs and I took some extra days off and had a long weekend. Thursday (4-21-16) was our second anniversary, and we decided to stop in Asheville, NC and take a little time for ourselves on the way to Winston Salem, NC for my cousin's wedding. Neither of us had been there before, so this was truly an adventure, plus it was full of firsts for Philip.

Finding fun places to eat is one of my favorite things to do when we travel. Pro Tip: Ask the locals where to get the best breakfast. Then you won't be stuck with a mediocre McDonalds or Waffle House breakfast that you can get just about anywhere. For lunch, Philip got to have his first trip to Mellow Mushroom to stuff his face with an amazing pizza (oh how I miss this place, my mouth is watering just thinking about it).

Friday, we visited the Biltmore Estate, and despite the rainy weather, we had a great time. The house is huge and so beautiful, I just wish we had more time to explore (I highly recommend getting the audio guide, you just get way more out of your visit with all the little insights and historic information for just $10 more). But we made it to Winston Salem just in time for the rehearsal dinner: roasted turkey, mashed potatoes, and steamed green beans. Are you jealous yet?

Saturday morning turned out to be gorgeous for the wedding festivities. The ceremony was beautiful and the omelet bar at the reception was perfection. I can't forget to mention that the wedding cake was donuts. DONUTS, people. How delicious and beautiful is that? I even got to take home part of our table centerpieces. With another recommendation from a local for dinner for more excellent pizza and pasta, we got to hang out with some of my extended family, which is always a good time.

When we drove in to Winston Salem, I spotted a Bojangles, so Sunday Breakfast was already planned. Another first for Philip. I mean, you just CANNOT pass up Boberry Biscuits, amiright? Then I made sure that I mapped out where all the Zaxby's were located on our route home so we could stop there for lunch. You guessed it, Philip's first Zaxby's. What a lucky man. All this great food in one weekend, makes my efforts to southernize my husband just a bit easier.

Now for the real reason you clicked on this post. The Giveaway! While it's not for food (whomp whomp) it's for something just as great, beauty products. That's right ladies (and gentlemen, if you're reading this) I've teamed up with some fabulous women so YOU could have a chance to win a $170 gift card to ULTA! Just use the rafflecopter widget below to enter.

Giveaway Info:

+ Just enter "Knock on Wood" for your free entry to get started!
+ This giveaway is open to anyone over the age of 18.
+ The giveaway is open from now until the end of the day on Monday, May 2, 2016.

Lindsay // Libby // Amanda // Becca
Kate // Rachel // Cherie // Amanda
Tabitha // Ashley // Mar

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Home

I mentioned earlier this month that my brother, C, is moving out of state. Well, that is happening this weekend. It's been especially hard on our mom, as that's two of her three children now living over 14 hours away. C has always lived fairly close to my mom after he moved out of the house, as did I. So "home" for us has always been our mom's house. We're all grown up now (I can't believe he's 26) and have started to make families of our own. And this got me thinking about how our definition of "home" evolves as we get older.

There are so many sayings surrounding what "home" is, and I can relate in some form or fashion to just about every one. 

Home is where your heart is.

Home is where your mom is.

Home is where your husband/wife is.

Home is where your dog/cat is.

Home is where the bra isn't.

Home is where the pants aren't.

Home is where you make it.

Home is wherever you are.

Home is where our story begins.

So I sat for a while trying to decide what "home" really means to me. My biggest challenge was deciding between Georgia and Missouri. That is exceptionally tough because most of my family, who I am very close to, live in Georgia. It is where I was born, where I lived for 27 years, 1 month, and 5 days. Yes, I counted. However, Missouri is where I have have lived for 2 years, 3 months, and 21 days. Missouri is where I became a wife (well legally it was Arkansas, but we're not being too technical here) and transformed Philip's bachelor pad into a grown up and well organized space. Missouri is where we adopted our furkids. 

How do I choose one place over the other when both have shaped who I am, both hold precious memories, both have important people, and both mean so very much to me. So you see me dilemma? 

But then I wondered why does home have to be only one specific place? Why can't we have more than one? I don't want to be so limited, do you? So I'm choosing both. I have a home in Georgia, where my Mom is, and I have a home, here in Missouri, where my own little family is. For me, home is where you are loved, and I am loved in more than once place. And so are you.

Where do you call home? Is it more than one place?

2015 Year in Review

Another year has flown by. We are another year older, another year wiser, and we've got another year's worth of experience under our belts. Lots of stuff happened, but I'm going to focus on the good stuff. That's what we do here at Knock on Wood, we stay positive.

January - We had a good bit of snow early in the year, and Bear just had such a great time playing in it. Winter is his favorite time of year, and he can spend hours outside just enjoying the chilly weather.
Most Viewed Blog Post: The Awesome Thing About Dogs

February- Philip got baptized! It was so emotional for me and his mom.
Most Viewed Blog Post: 9 Things You Should NOT Give Up For Lent

March - I got my first certificate for being on the Dean's List! #smartypants
Most Viewed Blog Post: 10 Steps for a Better Blog

April - We ventured down to Georgia to visit my mom and celebrate our first married anniversary. Everyone came over for Easter, and it was the first time we got to meet my little nephew.
Most Viewed Blog Post: F O U R

May - Robbie joined our little family. And it's been so great for Bear to have a playmate. Plus, Pumpkin has a new snuggle buddy.
Most Viewed Blog Post: Being Grateful

June - I chopped my hair off, and it made for some pretty awesome pictures.
Most Viewed Blog Post: 7 Things I Do That My Husband Thinks Are Weird

July - We went to Branson for the 4th. I had never been and it was really fun exploring the city and doing new things.
Most Viewed Blog Post: Count Your Blessings

August - I found these amazing and comfortable pants. Plus I turned a year older... boo. 
Most Viewed Blog Post: 8 Beauty Must Haves for ANY Girl

September - I recieved my letter that invited me to be a member of Alpha Sigma Lambda. Basically it's a nerd club for people who are in the top 20% of their class.
Most Viewed Blog Post: Lines in the Sand

October - I finally finished our gallery wall. And it's my absolute favorite corner in our house. So many memories and faces we love.
Most Viewed Blog Post: Currently October

November - Hubs and I got to meet Cassie and Matt when we had our first ever professional photo shoot. I am so pleased with the pictures! We had some printed to expand our gallery wall, and they made great Christmas gifts for our families.
Most Viewed Blog Post: 7 Christmas Decorating Tips and Tricks

December - Hubs let me glitter his beard!! He lost a bet you see. But isn't it pretty??
Most Viewed Blog Post: Depression is Like Cancer


2015 Most Viewed Blog Post: A TIE between 6 Tips for Better SEO on Blogger and Silver Linings 

How was your year?

The Magic of Christmas

When I was young, Christmas was such a magical time of year. I got lost in twinkle lights, candy canes, and ornaments. My brothers and I couldn't wait for Christmas morning. Did Santa like the cookies we made? What was in our stockings? What's in that box with the blue paper and the silver bow? As I grew up, the wonder of Christmas waned. 

I mentioned in my post last Monday that one of our advent activities this year was to purchase toys to donate. What I didn't mention was the other half of the activity; to reminisce about favorite gifts and memories of Christmas when we were little. We took turns sharing special moments, but when Hubs asked me what my favorite toy I ever received was I couldn't remember one. 

The only thing I could remember was spending time with my family. You see, this is the only time of year that my WHOLE family would get together in one place. And what I enjoyed most was seeing them all together, listening to them tell stories about their lives. This is the time of year that I really felt apart of something amazing, full of warm smiles, cozy hugs, and genuine laughter. 

At first I felt bad that I couldn't remember specific gifts because my mom worked very hard to give them to us. So I texted my mom to ask her, and she couldn't remember either. You know what she remembered? Our excitement and curiosity leading up to Christmas and the look of pure joy on our faces when we saw the tree and our stockings filled with goodies on Christmas morning. Funny what really sticks with us over the years. 

What is your favorite childhood Christmas memory?

Captured on Film

If you follow me on Instagram, you're probably jealous that I got to hang out with Cassie from Sage and her husband Matt two weekends ago. If you don't follow me (or Cassie or Matt), you should, and after this post you, too, will be jealous of my blate (blogger date) with Cassie and Matt. Just saying.

Let me give you a back story of sorts: when I asked my mom what she wanted and what she thought my grandparents would want for Christmas, she told me they would love some professional photos of me and Hubs. We don't have any because we eloped and that doesn't require a fancy photographer and stuff. So, I started researching photographers in our area. I found a few, but they were on the higher end budget wise and all of them offered prints instead of digital copies.

And then BOOM. I remembered that Cassie's husband is a photographer. I found his website, Matt Boness Photography, and checked out his work. AH-mazing. His prices? Even more AH-mazing. So I reached out to Cassie hoping that she'd tell me he's not all booked up so close to the holidays, and she did! She, Matt, and I chatted about the theme and vision I had for the photos, then we set a date to meet up and make it happen.

We had so much fun! At first, posing is a little awkward, but after a few minutes, and Cassie's creative direction, we felt very comfortable and at ease in front of the camera. Matt took us all over the area surrounding the historic columns on the Mizzou campus, and the day couldn't have been more gorgeous.

Once the shoot was over, we walked to this lovely little tapas place they discovered close to campus. I can't remember what it's called, but everything on the menu looked delicious. The four of us fell into an easy conversation and there was a little bit of a beard bond between the guys. Cause, you know, beards are awesome and manly. I cannot wait to hang out with them again!

We got our photos the following Wednesday, and I literally squealed with delight when Hubs handed me the package. And then I cried because the photos were so wonderful. Matt was able to capture so much feeling in these photos. My parents and grandparents (and the in-laws) are going to LOVE them. I have plans to get one blown up to hang on our wall and our Christmas cards are going to rock this year!

So if you're in the mid-Missouri area and need photos taken, I highly recommend Matt. I've already told him we'll use him for all our future photography needs. Can you blame me?

Weekend Getaway

We spent the weekend in Branson and I didn't take a single picture, except the one you see above. #SorryNotSorry

I enjoyed myself, my time with my husband, my time away from our "real life." It was nice not to have to worry about getting up to let the dogs out, did I forget to buy milk for breakfast, how many dishes are in the sink, and the test I have tomorrow in Spanish. We took our time, we didn't bother getting dressed up, we ate when we wanted to, we slept when we wanted to, we took care of each other. No distractions. We didn't even plan any activities! And it was wonderful.

Taking a few days to focus on yourself and your spouse is a big deal. It lets you reconnect in ways you just can't in every day life. For me, vacations and weekend getaways are so necessary to keep my head straight, keep the peace, and remind myself that my life here is worth all the stress and mess.

As we transition from summer to fall, I encourage you to take some time away from the everyday norms and reconnect with someone special. Your spouse, your bestie, your mom, or even yourself. Disconnect from your normal routine and just focus on what you feel, what you see, what hear. You'll be amazed at what you discover.

I am so grateful that we have the means to do this on a semi-regular basis. It's something we plan to keep doing for as long as possible.

What did you do this weekend?

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Talk Therapy

Last week I called my mom and it started out as just a gossip fest, cause you know we have to keep each other up to date on the goings on of our family. It slowly turned into something deeper.

My relationship with my mom hasn't always been the best. There were times we weren't even on speaking terms with each other. We do much better when we aren't living together, that's for sure, but we've always lived close enough to visit often. That was the hardest part for me when I made the decision to move to Missouri, was leaving my family behind.

As I've gotten older, I've realized that I had a part to play in the relationship issues with my mom as well. It wasn't just her, or the not so great circumstances of my childhood that are to blame. Talking to my mom about these things have been so much help to me, and I'm hoping to her as well. We've been able to explain more in depth about feelings, situations, and intentions that we weren't able to understand when it we were going through it. Hindsight is 20/20 you know.

I am grateful that my mom and I are at a place where we can talk openly about the hard things. I feel like we get closer each time we are able to work things out better. It's not always easy, but in the end we both benefit from these little talks. There's a level of trust and love that we have developed over the past six or so years through talks like these, and I wouldn't have it any other way.


What are you grateful for?

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8 Lessons We've Learned After 1 Year of Marriage

I've got a big secret about marriage. It may shock you, it may not. Brace yourselves. Here we go.

Marriage is HARD and it takes a lot of work to keep it going. It takes work to stay in sync with each other. It takes work to keep the peace. It takes work to be happy. But here's the second part of the secret, all that work is so worth it.

There are certain things that you know that will be a challenge going into a marriage. Patience, compromise, socks/shoes all over the place, finances, etc. Some of them you've been practicing since you were small, others not so much. Experiencing these things with another person is a whole different story.

Hubs and I were chatting over dinner the other day about all the things we've learned about each other and about marriage being just over a year in. His list and my list were slightly similar, but were so enlightening.

Hubs

// "Just let her do her thing."
I giggled a little when he said this, but it's been a real challenge for him. He's not as social as I am, but we've made compromises and I make sure that my social nature doesn't take away from my attentions to him.

// "Make time for a real date night."
This has helped us so much. Right now our date night is grocery night. We go out to dinner and do any shopping we need to do before we get groceries and come home.

// "If she doesn't know the real balance of the bank account, she won't go crazy in Target."
Ok. This one took me by surprise, but it's true. I don't ever know what our account balance is, and I like it that way. I am an impulsive spender, Hubs is a saver. Him being in charge of the finances makes me feel secure, and I don't spend as much when I don't know how much money we have.

// "You learn what it really takes to be supportive of your spouse's goals."
This goes both ways really. But he's been nothing but supportive about school, about this blog, and about anything else I want to accomplish.

Mine

// "We speak totally different languages, but I have learned how to interpret his now."
Growing up in totally different family atmospheres, we learned to communicate very very differently. That on top of our different love languages makes for quite a hurdle. But we've learned each other's language.

// "Snoring becomes ambient background noise that actually helps you sleep."
Laugh all you want, but as long as he's snoring I know he's still breathing. When I first moved here, he didn't snore as badly, but I would notice that he'd stop breathing for several seconds and then take a big breath.

// "Sometimes it's just better to ask for forgiveness than permission."
This sorta goes with me being an impulsive spender. Also when it comes to our furkids. This rule can apply to lots of different areas of life though.

// "We are both at fault in some way when we argue about things."
I'm not perfect. Neither is he. But sometimes we have these crazy expectations of each other. Sometimes we keep score, we get defensive, we don't really listen to the other. But we always apologize, we always make up, and we always make positive steps forward. Communication is a work in progress, but at least there is progress.


How long have you been married? What lessons have you learned?

Priorities

I am still reeling from what happened to me on Wednesday. I was planning on posting something fun and upbeat, but I'm glad that I forgot to hit publish because it certainly did not reflect how I have been feeling this entire week. Which is depressed mixture of anger, sadness, disappointment, and betrayal from my job which put a slight damper on my usually cheery home life.

I have never had a job that made me choose between my personal life and work, but Wednesday, that was exactly the case. My district manager tried to talk me into staying to work for a new facility  manager that is going to change my schedule around to the point where I would never get to see my husband, go to school, or have a weekend off ever. Her method? Giving me a guilt trip about me prioritizing my marriage over my job. In her exact words "You're really going to quit a job so you can see your husband seven nights a week? I work 12-16 hours a day and I have a husband and kids at home that I barely get to see, but that's the way it works in Health Care."

My answer to her: "That is your life that you chose. It has nothing to do with my life and what I want from it."

I am NOT going to apologize for wanting to see my husband at least a few nights a week. I am NOT going to apologize for not having children at home. (I am NOT going to apologize for treating my pets like my kids.) I am NOT going to give in to someone else's version of what my life should be like. I am NOT going to let someone bulldoze me or walk all over me. #sorrynotsorry

My job doesn't cook dinner for my family. My job doesn't cuddle up with me so I can go to sleep. My job doesn't make me tea when I am feeling sick. My job doesn't wake up at 2am to soothe a whining dog. My job doesn't clean my house. My job doesn't make a good snuggle buddy for watching movies. That's me, my husband, my pets, my family. And all of those things are so much more important to me than my job.

After she left and my anger subsided a little, I began to just feel really sorry for her and her family. I feel sorry for her that she feels like she needs to put others down to feel powerful. I feel sorry for her family that she puts so much importance on her job that it takes her away from them so much. I feel sorry for her that she has a resting b*tch face and a bad attitude. And I feel sorry for all of the other facilities in her district that have to deal with her.

I'm not worried though. I have another position lined up that will open up more doors for me and allow me to work hours that match my husbands. So for the next two weeks I'm going to take it easy and get my head back on straight. My husband is taking me to Branson, MO for Fourth of July Weekend and I start my new job the following Monday.

But, I encourage everyone to take a stand for yourself and not to feel guilty that your want to attend all of your kid's soccer games or go with your spouse to doctors appointments or take your cat to the vet. And you should definitely NOT apologize to anyone for wanting to do these things. Life should be full of more good times than bad, and if your job is tipping that scale the wrong way, perhaps it's time to find a new one.


Have you ever been pressured to choose between your family and your job? How did you handle it?

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The Joy of a Snowy Morning

I woke up this morning to a wet nose on my shoulder. I have no need for an alarm clock, because Bear has his own schedule and he makes sure I stick to it. I put on my robe and walked with him to the back door and you know what we saw? SNOW! So I hurried back to the bedroom to bundle up, grabbed my wellies, and we headed outside.

Great Pyrenees are made for cold weather and mountains. While we don't live in a very mountainous region, we do have plenty of cold weather for Bear to frolic in. It's only snowed one other time since we've had him and it was barely a dusting that time. Today we had a few inches to play with.

Seeing him running around, biting the snow, and just genuinely have the best time ever completely made my day. You can see the joy he had, I could feel it! What a wonderful and amazing blessing it is to wake up to this scene, to have this moment with Bear, to witness his elation over something so simple. I am truly grateful to my husband for giving in to my pleading to adopt Bear, for putting up with all the little issues of adjustments, for trying to love Bear as much as I do (Hubs is not really a dog person). It makes me love Hubs even more to know that he loves me so much that he will do nearly anything to make me happy. And happy, I am. 

What are you grateful for today? 

Do your dogs love the snow as much as mine? 

How has your spouse shown thier love for you?

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Blogger Love is the BEST

I received a sweet, sweet text this morning from Faith and the conversation that was born from it really touched my heart. You see, Faith and I share a love for God and believe that He gives us what we need when He decides we need it. And that applies to people too!

God gave me my #Tribe when I was about to give up on finding friends here Missouri. My heart is overflowing with love and praise for the joy and support I receive from these lovely ladies. Then God went above and beyond and gave me my new friend Kaity. So, now I have my #Tribe everywhere I go, and Kaity here with me in person.

P.S. A little bird told me that Kaity might be joining us here in Blogland soon, though!

Ok, now it's time to share some of that love! These are some of my favorite posts from the past couple weeks:


How to Keep Track of Your Sponsors - The So-Called Homemaker
This post has literally saved me! I feel so much more organized because of Christine's idea. I was able to take her format, tweak it little to suit my needs, and BOOM perfection! #Adulting

Nutella Oreo Cheesecake - All the Joys
Need I say more?

Conversations & Blogger Love - The Adventures of Bug and Boo
Simply adorable.

Contentment - Life with Mrs. G and The Artist
This post is so beautiful, raw, and deep.

10 Ways You're Driving Your Spouse Crazy - The New Wifestyle
This post made me laugh so hard, but it's also kind of a wake up call. We need to be a bit more mindful of ourselves sometimes.

Valentine's Day Blogging Prompts - Love the Here and Now
These are perfect for the upcoming holiday! I've definitely got a few lined up myself.

5 Reasons I Will NEVER Return to Your Blog - The So-Called Homemaker
YES! 100% agree to all of these.

on that same note,
10 Blogging Kisses of Death - Sage
Again, YES!

And let's give a huge round of applause and Welcome back our favorite Llama to Blogland.
My New Normal - The Rambling Llama


What were your favorite posts this week?

Christmas Wishes

Tomorrow is Christmas and we have a busy day planned. Skyping with my parents in the morning because they want to see us open our gifts, followed by lunch and presents with the in-laws, then FaceTiming with my brothers and sisters later in the evening.

My wish for you this holiday season is that you have a wonderful Christmas with your families, but to always remember what Christmas is really about: Love.

Merry Christmas!

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Grateful Heart

Today I am grateful for this link-up, for Emily for starting this link-up, and for everyone who has participated in this link-up. It has brought so much joy and tons of positive juju into my life. Inspired by this Grateful Heart celebration each Monday, I started asking my husband four questions each night as we lay in bed, and then I share my answers with him.

1. What are you most grateful for today?

2. What is something good someone did for you today?

(this could be anything from someone making you laugh, to buying you lunch)

3. What is something good you did for someone today?

4. What do you appreciate about me today?

And once a week we ask each other "What can I do to make our lives and our relationship better?"

I feel like this simple thing has brought us closer together and has encouraged us to focus more on the positive things in our lives rather than the negative. It has helped us be more positive with each other, and gives us a chance to have an intimate moment to share our love. And I am so grateful for that.

What are you grateful for today?

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My Top 12 Photos from 2014

So I love taking pictures and when Chelsea announced that she was hosting a link-up featuring your 12 favorite photos from 2014 I was all in! (you can see her post here)

These are my absolute fav moments and photos of those moments of 2014.

From the top left going clockwise around the center.

January: It's so beautiful when it snows here, and this just happened to be my first snow in Missouri.

February: We celebrate Love in February. These two cuddle bugs taught me how to be more loving and affectionate in my own relationships.

March: WE GOT ENGAGED! and it marked the first year of us "officially" dating.

April: WE ELOPED!

May: I made a solo trip to Georgia to visit my mom for Mother's Day.

June: I started school again. Bachelors Degree, here I come!

July: Philip is warming up to taking more pictures with me when I ask him too. And sometimes we get amazing little gems like this one.

August: My birthday month! Good Grades, New Dress, and My first attempt (and fail) at being a fashion blogger.

September: Philip's birthday month! We made a trip down to Georgia to visit my parents, and Mom and I threw a little surprise party for Philip and her Husband (they share a birthday!)

October: Trying on funny costume pieces in Target. I have to figure out how to make shopping more fun for Hubs.

November: It's starting to get cold again, so the babies are being more snuggly.

December: Bear. My early Christmas present.

What are you top 12 memories and photos from this year?

{Grateful Heart} List 25

Today I am grateful for my life, but more so for the things that make me want to wake up each day and be a better person than I was the day before. This list prompt from my List Yourself Challenge was perfect for today's Grateful Heart post.

25. List the real reasons you are inspired to stay alive.

My husband. He's a huge part of why I keep going every day. I have no idea how I made it before meeting him, and I have no desire to find out what life would be like without him now. (Lord knows what he'd do without me!)

My Family. I love them so much and knowing that they will always be there for me is such a great comfort. Plus, they have to love me. Haha!

My furkids. They are like real kids for me and Hubs. They are as much apart of our family as a tiny human would be. 

Pumpkin // Bear // Misty

My Friends. They are the family you get to choose for yourself. 

Chocolate. Hi, My name is Amanda and I'm a Chocoholic.

Music. It makes you feel. It makes you dance. It makes you grow.

Writing. It's such a wonderful expression. I always feel lighter when I complete a post, finish a paper, or sign a Thank You note. 

What makes you get out of bed each morning? What are you grateful for each day?

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